Stevie General Store » ridiculous

Black People Will Rob You

Bridget — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 05:39:03 +0000

AH! SO EXPENNNSIVE!!

Ahhh. So cheep!

Ahhhhhh.

***

Forgive me everyone. Cheap humor gets to me big time.

HAHHAHAHAHHAHA.

PS: Rosie, can we do something like this? I’ll dress wanton and HY wonton!

I Know You Try The Sex Everyday

Bridget — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 05:16:59 +0000

Aiyah. I can watch this a million times.

Aiyah.

The Best Cashew Cookies in the World

Dodgy — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 17:55:04 +0000

I have an aunt who makes only cashew cookies every Chinese New Year. My father says it’s because she only has one recipe in her head, but I told him that that’s ok, since they are actually the best cashew cookies in the world. My cashew auntie is my father’s eldest sister, and his favorite, so much so that he moved his young family into the flat right next to hers. This is their 29th year as neighbors.

My mother told me that the funny thing about cashew auntie is that she doesn’t actually know how to bake. She knows all the proportions of things, she makes the dough, she cuts the dough into funny little crescent shapes, but she does not know how to operate the oven. That’s because my uncle did all the baking for her, but he passed away a few years ago. Last year was the first year she baked without him and all the cookies turned out a little burnt. She blamed the maid. My mum says cashew aunt is like a celebrity chef.

This year the cashew cookies are the best cashew cookies in the world. I don’t know who has finally learnt to operate the oven, my cashew aunt or the maid.

Closed until the lucky day

Bridget — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 22:01:24 +0000

… of Friday 13th.

Which is funnier?

Bridget — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 17:48:41 +0000

Carrying a roll of toilet paper to nurse a cold conveniently? Or conveniently carrying your mother’s old LV potato sack?

hahahahahah.

First Glib Epiphany of 2012

Dodgy — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 10:43:08 +0000

In life, sometimes you’re the cow, sometimes you’re Annie Lennox.

Most of the time though, you’re the cow. DON’T FLATTER YOURSELF.

Stupid Bells

Dodgy — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 06:21:39 +0000

My rendition of Jingle Bells makes Bridget laugh and laugh, so I’ll share it with all of you.

Cat joins in with a tinkle at the end, so wait for it.

Fierce Femmes and Feline

Dodgy — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 16:34:53 +0000

For fierce femmes and those who want to be reckoned with.

EG-223

EG-221

EG-219

EG-224

EG-225

EG-222

EG-220

EG-217

EG-216

Vintage Eyewear

And here’s Mr. Yo being ridiculously cute again.

Season Of Misgiving III

Bridget — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 05:41:22 +0000

Yo will hide in the backroom and bat at the magnet fly. A year ago, a man came in and bought two of these plastic insect magnets. The last was meant to be football.

Furry Rapper

Bridget — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 17:07:57 +0000

Yo. Mister Yo. Yo-yo-yeooohh.

Yo Mister Yo he’s sucha rapper in the day he’s totally worn out while I work at my deskz.

Yo Mister Yo he’s sucha kickass napper in the night he’s sleepin’ with his head hangin’ off the chairz.

Yo-yo-y’all.